Parenting - Putting Your Children First
Parenting arrangements
After separation, sorting out parenting arrangements is likely to be the hardest thing you will need to do.
We work with many parents who, with their ex-partner, are able to set aside their differences and do what they can to ensure their children are safe and feel loved.
However we also have many years of experience helping parents who have been alienated from their children, who are struggling to protect their children from an abusive ex-partner, or are dealing with complex parenting arrangements such as caring for grandchildren, overseas parenting arrangements, children with significant health and learning challenges, and neurodiversity.
Its not just about negotiating who your children live with and how much time they spend in each household.
If you need advice or representation for parenting matters or child support, we can help you.
Just quickly …
The relevant law
Parenting disputes are governed by Part VII of the Family Law Act. The Act prioritises the best interests of the children, including a strong emphasis on children’s safety, in accordance with Australia’s obligations to comply with international conventions relating to the rights of children (the 1989 International Convention on the Rights of the Child).
Importantly, section 60CA of the Act states that the best interests of the children are the “paramount consideration.”
Other matters to be considered include what parenting arrangements promote the safety, such as protection from family violence, neglect, or other harm, the needs of the child including cultural needs, the capacity of each parent to provide for the child’ needs, and the benefit to the child of being able to have a relationship with each parent.
The views of the child can also be taken into account, but this does not mean that parents should put their children in a position where they need to pick for themselves where they live. There are very strict requirements around how children’s views, if any, should be obtained.
When determining what is best for children, the need to protect children from harm will be given greater weight than the need to have a meaningful relationship with both parents.
Equal time?
Without court orders to the contrary, both parents enjoy equal shared parenting responsibility for their children. This means both parents should be involved in long-term parenting decisions including where the children live and attend school, their legal name, their religion, and medical treatments.
However, even if parents share equal parental responsibility, there is no longer an assumption that equal time with the children should follow.
What the children want
If you and the other parent cannot agree, and your matter goes to court, your children’s wishes about where they live and how much time they spend with each parent can be taken into account. Importantly, your children’s preferences are only one of a number of factors that the court will take into account.
There’s no hard and fast rule (or age) about when your children get to decide parenting arrangements. Generally, however, children’s views are given greater weight depending on their age and level of maturity.
There are very strict rules about how the children’s views can be made known to the court. Parents talking to the children directly about what they want can inadvertently make children feel like they have to “pick sides”, and children are generally not emotionally mature enough to navigate such highly emotional issues without serious, long-term emotional damage.
The best way for children to share their preferences for parenting arrangements is with the help of an appropriately qualified social worker or psychologist. These type of family reports (where experts engage with the children directly as well as with each parent and any other members of the two households) are regularly required by the courts when determining parenting disputes. However, a lawyer can help you arrange such a report before going to court, to help both parents agree to parenting arrangements between them without damaging and often costly litigation.
Need more information?
We have published several articles about all areas of family law including parenting disputes, which you can find here.
Alternatively, contact us for a free telephone consult, or book a no-obligation meeting with an experienced family lawyer.
Parental alienation
Parental alienation is where one parent influences their child’s views about the other parent, and their wishes about parenting arrangements. Parental alienation is not always intentional: children are often heavily influenced by their parents’ actions in relation to the other parent including their general demeanour, off-hand comments, or by overhearing their parents’ arguments.
Children usually lack the maturity needed to navigate their own relationships between adults who are in conflict. The result can be children emotionally aligning themselves with one parent over the other, as the only way they know how to cope. The effects of parental alienation are usually very devastating on children, and can result in symptoms including night terrors, bed-wetting, poor schooling, bullying and other anti-social behaviours, and problems adjusting to their own adult life in later years leading to their own inability to build strong relationships, drug abuse, alcoholism, and crime.
Formalising parenting arrangements
Agreed parenting arrangements can be informal (e.g. worked out on an ongoing basis through parents negotiating with each other), or formalised through a parenting plan or court orders made by consent.
A parenting plan must be in writing and must be signed by both parents, but it is not binding. Nevertheless, if a parenting plan has been in place for some time, it can be given preference by a court if a dispute arises.
A family lawyer can help you draft comprehensive parenting orders which can then be formalised by the court by consent. Orders are binding, so it is important that you have a lawyer help you draft them. Poorly worded parenting orders can be difficult to set aside, if they have unintended consequences or circumstances change.
How we can help
You won’t always need a lawyer to help you sort out parenting arrangements. Many parents can work together and make joint decisions for their children without dispute. However, if you’re not spending as much time with your children as you think is best for them, you may need a lawyer to help you.
At Shorestone Legal we have helped many clients resolve their parenting disputes with their ex-partners. We can help you with:
A fixed fee consult, to give you full and frank advice about your specific circumstances, what your options are to put better parenting arrangements in place, and what you can do to ensure your children’s safety from emotional and psychological abuse, including parental alienation.
If you and your ex-partner have agreed on what’s best for your children, we can help you draft all the necessary legal documents to finalise the arrangements including liaising with the other parent on your behalf.
If you are not agreed, we will act to protect you and your children and get appropriate parenting arrangements in place. This can include helping you arrange an independent parenting expert’s opinion (particularly if there is dispute about the children’s own preferences) and if necessary arranging and representing you at a family law mediation.
If necessary, we will fight for you and your children in the Family Court. We will do everything we can to get the right outcome for your family.