We’ve Separated … What’s Next?
There’s going to be a lot of things you’ll both need to sort out.
It’s going to be overwhelming, but here’s a quick outline of what comes next.
Most important of all, you'll both need to put the children first. This doesn’t necessarily mean getting formal family law parenting orders in place as soon as possible. If you've just separated, then everyone is going to need time to adjust to two separate households from now on. If you and your ex-partner have a parenting dispute in terms of long-term arrangements, but can both put the children first, it might be a good idea NOT to rush into formal Family Court parenting orders. You both will probably need some time to work out your own (now separate) schedules, and how this is all going to work. However, if there's arguments about who's living where and what time the kids will be picked up, then its best to at least get something agreed in writing as soon as possible. It might help lessen the arguments.
However, if your parenting dispute has unfortunately resulted in you not being able to see your children at all, or only as and when your ex-partner lets you, then speak to a family lawyer as soon as you can. Putting things off for too long, in the hope that it might get better when your ex-partner 'cools down', might actually make it harder to get proper parenting arrangements in place for the long-term.
If you and your ex-partner can agree on parenting arrangements , you can settle things with either a parenting agreement signed by both parents, or 'Consent Orders'. A parenting agreement is not binding, but it does allow the parents some flexibility if their circumstances change as the children get older. Consent Orders are made by the Family Court, pursuant to family law. once they are made they are binding, and there can be serious consequences if you or your ex-partner don't comply with family law orders..
If parenting arrangements have been settled, the next important thing is coming to a fair property settlement about who keeps what (hint: if you both act reasonably and get something agreed between you, you will both probably save a lot of money in legal fees!) Even if you and your ex-partner can't work all property settlement matters out amicably, at least try to agree on some things and identify what you might need help with to settle. Before you agree to anything, however, it is well worth having a confidential chat with a family lawyer, just to get an idea of what the family law says and what your rights and obligations are.
Remember, under family law, everything needs to be considered when you and your ex-partner are deciding what is fair and reasonable including superannuation and any other assets and liabilities (even if they are not owned jointly). It's important that you give each other full and frank financial disclosures (i.e. exchange all documents that relate to your respective finances, assets, and liabilities) if there's any doubt about what you each have, before agreeing to a family law property settlement.
You and your ex-partner can also finalise your family law property settlement with Consent Orders made by the Family Court, or you can enter into a Binding Financial Agreement (which is a bit like a 'pre-nup', but written up after you separate). Unlike a parenting agreement, a Binding Financial Agreement is binding as the name suggests.
If you are married, you and your ex-partner will need to be separated for at least 12 months before either of you can apply for a divorce. Once you are divorced, you will usually only have 12 months from the date the divorce is finalised to sort out any dispute about property. For this reason, it is usually a good idea to leave the divorce until after everything else is sorted out.
If you were not married and were in a de facto relationship, you only have 2 years from the date of separation to sort out any property disputes. For this reason it is important that you speak to a lawyer and get expert family law advice as soon as possible.
The Family Court of Australia has really useful information about parenting and property disputes, and we strongly urge you to read these brochures in particular:
Marriages Families and Separation
Before you file - pre-action procedures for parenting cases
Before you file - pre-action procedures for financial cases
If you’ve separated, and would like more information about family law matters, please contact us for a free, no obligations chat about your situation.
